My Photo
Location: Brooklyn, New York, United States

I have a tendency to unconsciously appropriate other peoples' affectations, leading me to say things like y'all.

Email me

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

How life can rock a little bit more

Mediation went really well today. I sat down in session and laid out my proposal before Josh had the chance to direct the conversation away from last week's issue. Two or three sentences in, Josh sort of laughed. I think he realized that I was discouraged by that, so he put his hand on my shoulder for me to continue. That may have been the first time in three years that Josh has touched me. It was such a validating gesture, that I just ran through my idea and when I was done and I turned to him for feedback, he said: you won't believe this, but that's exactly what I came up with too.

I was concerned that most of our two hours would be allotted to this discussion, and that we'd make little headway in the end, but it took about half an hour before we were moving onto the easy questions again.

This isn't to say that it's set in stone. Until the papers are drawn up and signed, Josh has every right (as do I) to re-tweak and reconsider anything that doesn't quite sit well. Even then, we can always go back and change something over time. For now, however, this is an awesome moment in the process because it shows that we are both reasonable, loving people who just want what's best for each other as well as for our family.

My friend Semra* was roughly Sophie's age when her parents split up and remarried. They stayed close for the sake of the kids and she grew up with both an active father and stepfather in her life. She is one of the most intimidatingly amazing women I've ever met. I'm hopeful that in her childhood there is a proof of things to come.

*for those of us who know and love Sem, including Sem, please forgive me if I've blatantly mis-remembered her childhood in an effort to validate the choices I'm making for my child.


Post a Comment

<< Home