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I have a tendency to unconsciously appropriate other peoples' affectations, leading me to say things like y'all.

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Thursday, March 30, 2006

Performed personal assistance*

In a moment of recklessness I'm going to blow the wad up front and report that the new girl is now the old girl.

Yes, as in: she came in for a day and a half and now she's gone. Or, from my perspective: she wasted my time, alienated me from my desk-top, made me do actual work for a day and a half, and now she's gone.

I knew within hours of meeting her that she was not going to prove a successful choice for my position. The constant cell phone checking** played a part in my forming an opinion, sure, but it was more than that. My job requires keeping track of a lot of details, and where my boss is concerned it is all details or else, chances are, fire and brimstone will rain down upon you and your future progeny for all of eternity. Somehow she just wasn't really engaging in the details. I mean, I was giving her much more information than I'd been given during my training (in an effort to make things easier to understand), but she just really didn't seem to care.

She also seemed a little dumb. At one point I told her she could just delete a sentence in a document we were revising, rather than cut it, and I swear to you she was looking for a toolbar icon until I just hit the delete key.

All in, I still tried to reserve judgment, because: a) maybe I'm wrong; b) there has to be a good reason beyond her being tall and blonde that she was hired; and c) what the fuck do I care if it works out?...I'm leaving at the end of the week.

We got through the day, work was done and lots of ground was covered. Except that she didn't take any notes. I thought that was weird too. You always take notes...it's like saying: I'll do my best to make the transition as easy as possible, of course...it's just something you're supposed to do.

This morning I came in a little late to find her logged into the computer (oh good, she's taken initiative) and perusing her cell phone bill online (hmmm, wrong kind of initiative). As I took off my jacket, she then redirected the browser to yahoo and checked her mail. Okay. I am not a total tight ass or anything, but, um, hello?, professionalism? Yeah, who doesn't shut down the browser window as soon as their superior walks in? It was just weird. Shortly after I arrived, she excused herself to go to the bathroom and was gone for quite a while...I assumed making another call, but apparently, she had gone over to our office manager and told her how much she was enjoying working at the company already and how pleased she was that it felt like such a good fit.

Then comes the transcribing. There were three invoices dictated on a tape, by the boss, which needed to be typed up. This was specifically done for the purpose of familiarizing her with the bits of her job no one else would know about other than me. Well, she made it through two invoices and I started to think that maybe I'd misjudged her, but then she claimed that she couldn't understand a word he was saying and handed the headphones to me. I gave her some alphabetizing to do (to familiarize her with the client names) and she was totally lost. I mean, not because she didn't know the alphabet, but because she wasn't actually looking at the names in front of her and thereby assumed that the first two emails (for instance) were about the same client, which they clearly were not...by clearly, I mean there were two different names on the emails and the content of the emails was totally unrelated.

I let the new girl go to lunch 10 minutes early because I have that power and also because I really needed to have time alone with my desk (and email). Apparently, she rode the elevator down with the boss and they had a nice chit chat about where he lives (Mt. Kisko) and where she grew up (Bedford) and la di da.

We had a little birthday thing at the office during lunch and I ducked out early to do some emailing and blog reading, but come 2:15 I was asking myself: who comes back from lunch late on their second day? Well, the answer is the new girl who doesn't come back at all.

Yep, that's right. She left a voicemail for our office manager explaining that she didn't think it would be a good fit after all and that was it. No more new girl.

Now, I ask you: does that sound like a sane person? I didn't think so.



*this is taken directly from the old new girl's resume.

**I'm guessing there must have been another job in the pipeline and we were just an interim safety.

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